Harlequin, Rising
by Strelitzian
Summary: The investigation into a break-out at Arkham Asylum yields some unexpected information regarding model employee Doctor Harleen Quinzel. Joker/Harley.  The "romance" tag doesn't quite seem appropriate, but...
1. Memo to Commissioner Gordon

**A/N Kudos if you catch a reference to a certain Batman-related web-series ;) It gave me a little inspiration. I'll give you a shout-out in the next chapter if you spot it. **

**D.C is the owner of all existing Batman paraphernalia. This story is for non-profit entertainment only.**

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><p>To: Commissioner James Gordon<p>

From: Doctor Jeremiah Arkham c/o Arkham Asylum

Date: 30/11/2009

Subject: Dr Harleen Quinzel

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><p>It has come to my attention that some audio recordings of Dr Quinzel's sessions with patient #4479 (otherwise known as "John Doe", "The Joker" etc.) have been recovered from her office. Dr Quinzel's office was raided during the break-out; someone did their best to obliterate the tapes, but a few fragments have survived. I've had them transcribed and sent to your people, along with the original tapes, for analysis.<p>

In my mind these tapes demonstrate patient #4479's increasing possessiveness of his doctor. One also suspects that Dr Quinzel's interest in her patient rises above the level of professional interest (a suspicion I entertained myself before the break-out, and one that I am happy to discuss with you at any time).

I submit my suspicions to you that Dr Harleen Quinzel was involved in the break-out here at Arkham Asylum two days ago. Should you need any information regarding my colleague's background or competences, I am willing to assist.

I hope, Commissioner, that this proves useful in your investigation. I would also remind you of patient #4479's well documented history of violence, especially during his time here at Arkham. Proceed with all due caution.

Signed : Jeremiah Arkham

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><p><strong>AN I'm totally new to Batman fanfiction. But I love the graphic novels, and Nolan created, in my mind, _the_ definitive Batman universe. **


	2. 1st Session

Audio recording dated 5/1/2009

Transcription dated 28/11/2009

Notes: A fragment of what we believe to be the first session between Dr Quinzel and patient #4479 (signed Jeremiah Arkham)

[static]

Harleen Quinzel: Sit down.

[pause of approx. 6 minutes, sound of chair moving on floor]

Harleen Quinzel: Sit down, please.

[pause, approx. 3 minutes, chair shifts again]

Harleen Quinzel: Sit down.

[pause, approx. 42 seconds]

Harleen Quinzel: My name is Doctor Harleen Quinzel.

[pause of approximately 50 seconds, no audio]

Harleen Quinzel: I'll be your attending doctor from now on.

[pause of approximately ten minutes; scratching noise indicates Dr Quinzel is writing]

Patient #4479 : What? What are you writing? What?

Harleen Quinzel: Not important. I admit that it came as a shock when I was assigned to your case. I'm so busy, you see. [sound of chair shifting]Sit down. [sound of chair obscures dialogue] … last chance for rehabilitation before the board sends you to Blackgate. Besides, your file made interesting reading.

Patient #4479: I bet I kept you going all night long.

Harleen Quinzel: Quite. Now, you have had quite a number of doctors throughout your time here. I'm led to believe that you have a tendency to be flexible with the truth. [Patient #4479 is heard laughing] I'm here to make sense of you. Perhaps we can start with your name.

Patient #4479: Basil.

Harleen Quinzel: I seriously doubt that.

Patient #4479: You got me.

Harleen Quinzel [heard clearing throat]: Yeah. Your notes did yield some interesting observations which, as far as I can tell, are consistent with each other. [Audio becomes garbled] … which indicates a form of bipolar disorder. You have a tendency to inappropriately assume the presence of a relationship, hence your fascination with the Bat Man. You apparently do not understand the idea of 'consequences'. You have a tendency to self-harm…

Patient #4479: Speaking of which, want to know how I got these scars?

Harleen Quinzel: No. Not yet.

[barely audible speech from Patient #4479 followed by the sound of something hitting a hard surface]

Harleen Quinzel: Ah yes. Your desire for attention, and your escalating attempts to gain it when you do not receive it. [audible sound of rustling paper; indiscernible speech from #Patient 4479, Doctor Quinzel talks over] I could continue but we simply don't have time today. We can go into that in more detail in later sessions. For now, let's just get to know one another.

Patient #4479: Such fun.

[static, audio ends]

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><p>Their first session had gone better than she'd hoped. At least, as far as she could tell. He had been typically uncooperative: monosyllabic, non-committal answers to simple questions. Total silence if she dared probe any deeper.<p>

She'd held her breath once or twice. _No. Not yet_. That had annoyed him. His foot had slammed down heavily against the floor. Despite herself she'd almost pressed the panic button. And her heart stopped every time he stood up. But Lyle the guard had been there, forcing him back into his seat. And thank sweet Jesus for straitjackets. It wouldn't do to freak out on her first day on the case.

"Patient #4479 has a bad habit of…picking on…his doctors," Doctor Joan Leland told her when she handed over the case notes. "Don't look him in the eye, don't talk about Jonathan Crane, don't mention the Italians, don't ask him where his make-up is, don't give him any make-up – trust me, he'll ask – and never, ever mention the Bat Man." She sighed, "I'm telling you all this, but God knows what'll set him off next time."

Ah.

The legendary 'episodes'.

Doctor Quinzel had heard stories. Stories about his first day in Arkham, where it had taken the staff a good four hours to scrub off his make-up; stories about a mini break-out, when he locked two psychotic, un-medicated patients in the same cell – that story was particularly nasty; pinning another prisoner to the floor and forcing sticks of butter down their throat; forks lodged in prisoners' eyeballs. There was no pattern. He was brutal, revolting and ridiculous all at the same time.

Doctors had come and gone. The more distinguished the name, the more they stood to lose: a professional honey trap. The Joker seemed to know how to play them: dangle the prospect of a breakthrough in front of such venerable noses and watch them sell themselves to see it to the end. Then take it away. What fun. And how interesting: he'd been through the system before.

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><p>Harleen sat at home, trawling through any media footage of the Joker. She felt mildly disgusted with herself for doing so: such blatant sensationalism of a mental patient was antithetical to her profession. But she couldn't help herself. The man was fascinating.<p>

She couldn't help feel a twinge of anticipation for her next session.


	3. Audio recording dated April, 2009

Audio recording dated 4/2/2009

Harleen Quinzel: I admit that you defy easy classification. But your individual symptoms are far from unique. [unclear dialogue from patient; sounded like "What a bitch" - unverifiable] I'm sorry?

Patient #4479: I said let's get hitched.

Harleen Quinzel: I could never marry a man with a name like Basil. [patient's laughter]

Patient #4479: You could give me a conjugal visit. Baby, nobody even knew about rough sex until I-

Harleen Quinzel: That's enough. [sound of chair shifting] Sit down.

Patient #4479: [garbled] …like you haven't thought about [garbled] tied upside down [garbled] and I'll tell you what I'd really [garbled] what's that thing called [garbled] from Star Wars [garbled] leave a bruise [garbled] give you teeth marks [garbled] like really big [garbled] it was huge [garbled] best feeling ever [garbled] blade in the[garbled] romance ain't dead, honey. What did you say?

Harleen Quinzel: I didn't say anything. Lyle, perhaps you should -

Patient #4479: What's that supposed to mean?

Harleen Quinzel: Sit down.

Patient #4479: You think I-

Harleen Quinzel [obscures patient #4479's speech]: Okay, okay. Just. Just sit down. Lyle, can you – Oh, Jesus! Lyle!

Patient #4479: What the hell did you say?

[sound of a struggle obscures dialogue. Audio ends]

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><p>They'd put him in solitary after that.<p>

She'd been lucky. He'd managed to get an arm loose. He took a swing at the table and knocked it clean out of his way, before springing at her.

And yet.

And yet, before that he had surprised her. They'd shared a joke. He'd almost been chatty.

And amorous, apparently. That tirade…

Harleen winced. He'd knocked her to the floor, and managed to bite her. The mark had faded, apart from a few discoloured blotches along her collarbone. He'd pulled her hair and twisted her head back on her neck, and her scalp had hurt for the next two days. Lyle had managed to throw him back against the wall, but the Joker had just giggled and head-butted him, and charged again for Harleen.

She shrieked and just managed to press the panic button before he aimed a kick at her head. She managed to roll away.

"Jesus…!"

He stood over her, one foot on either side of her head. He bent down. "Wanna know how I got these scars?"

Security staff burst through the door and hauled him away from her. Joan Leland rushed in after them and helped Harleen to her feet. As Security led the Joker past the two women, he made another dive towards Harleen, but was easily held back by the men on either side of him. She saw him grinning just before he disappeared down the hall.

"I nicked myself shaving!"


End file.
